


Dick Depot

by Lana_the_salty_banana



Category: Original Work
Genre: Comedy, F/F, F/M, I wrote this on a whim, Mentions of Sex, just a dumb idea i had
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 06:27:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18277649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lana_the_salty_banana/pseuds/Lana_the_salty_banana
Summary: I just had this idea come to me in the middle of a shift and had to write it when i got home. Its kind of stupid with a couple moments of sexiness, comedy, and just general dumbness because, like I said, I just had to write this idea down.





	Dick Depot

           “Here at Dick Depot, we believe in delivering quality products and services at a convenience and an affordability you can’t get anywhere else. Since our first store opened, we have strived to deliver every possible want or need asked of us, and after ten years of non-stop satisfaction, we’re reaching out to our customers, and seeing what they have to say about us.”

            The camera panned through a crowded street. Many different people walking by, bags in their hands, entering the same store or leaving it. A single woman in a suit held a microphone as she smiled to the camera. “I’m here outside the original Dick Depot store, and as you can see, it is crazy crowded as usual. Let’s see who we can find. Excuse me, sir?”

            The woman stopped a tall thin man with a large bag leaving the store. “Hey, what’s up?”

            “Hello. My name is Andrea Salem, and we’re doing a special on the ten-year anniversary of Dick Depot. Mind having a short little talk?”

            He smiled, “Oh sure, I had no idea Dick Depot was ten years old. Names June, by the way.”

            They shook hands and Andrea smiled. “Thanks June. So, tell me, how long have you been shopping at Dick Depot?”

            “Well I first came here like…maybe three years ago? I had met this really sexy minotaur girl and we had been dating for a month already and things were getting pretty serious. So, she’s huge, like nine feet tall right? And I was pretty self-conscious, but she loved me, but I still wanted to like…um…”          

            “Make her cum her brains out?”

            “Exactly! So, I come here, tell them how she is, what she likes, and they set me up with a big ole sixteen inch horsecock. I go home to her and have the absolute best night of our relationship, I mean, we had to buy a new bed after that.”

            “Sounds like Dick Depot really helped you out huh?”

            “Oh definitely. In fact, I kinda consider Dick Depot to be like, a family type store really.”

            “Family? I wouldn’t think of bringing kids here.”

            “Not family in that regards but. Like, after they helped me with my now wife, she got pregnant like a couple weeks after the whole horsecock thing, and now we’re happy with twins.”

            “AWE! That’s so sweet, congratulations.”

            “Thanks. Well if that’s all ya need to know I better get going, its our anniversary today so…got some special things in here.” June held up his bag and gave a warm smile.

            “Well I hope it’s a fun night for you, maybe you’ll have more kids from this little anniversary of yours?”

            June chuckled as he started walking off, “Here’s hoping. Hope your little interview thing goes well.” As June Disappeared into the crowd, Andrea reached out to stop a rather short succubus, who smiled at the camera.

            “Hello there, my name is Andrea Salem, we’re doing a special on the ten-year anniversary of Dick Depot. Mind if we ask you a couple questions?”

            The succubus nodded, “Sure I got some time. My name’s Xyla by the way.”

            “Nice to meet you Xyla. So, tell me, how long have you been a customer of Dick Depot?”

            “Oh, ever since they opened. I absolutely love Dick Depot, they are very professional and very helpful to sex workers like me.”

            “Oh? How so?”

            “So they have this little special membership program, special to sex workers. Discounts on all products and services and such, on top of last-minute stuff, which really works for me, like you wouldn’t believe how helpful the thing is.”

            “Why don’t you tell us. Because I’m rather interested myself to be honest.”

            “Right so basically, like I said I’m a sex worker, and my clients often has very specific needs, so when I have appointments, I often need to get specific stuff for them. So Dick Depot has the program specific for people like me, so I just call them up, tell them what I need, and within the hour its ready for me to come by and pick it up.”

            “Wow, that definitely sounds helpful. And you’ve had this special membership since Dick Depot opened?”

            “Well, no, they didn’t have this when they first opened, but once they did I joined it asap. But yeah, I love Dick Depot so much, especially their CEO, Cecile is like, my idol.”

            “I see what you mean, Cecille really is a great demon isn’t she?”

            “Mhm. But yeah, hope you get some good interviews. How long do you work?”

            “I uh…why?”

            Xyla smiled as she got close to Andrea and whispered in her ear. At least it would have been a whisper if the microphone wasn’t there. “Because you’re a very beautiful woman and look like you need a nice night. Here’s my card~”

            Andrea’s face turned bright red as Xyla walked away, winking playfully at Andrea. Andrea turned to the camera, “W-why don’t we go to our uh…We were talking with Cecille bbback at the uh…back to you Sean.”

            The camera cut off and quickly turned to a talk show studio. Behind the desk was Sean Saymon, and to his right was none other than Cecille Alborne, the CEO Empress of Dick Depot. Sean laughed as he looked to Cecille, “Well it looks like Andrea has an admirer. I knew demons were really good at seducing folks but that’s just amazing.”

            Cecille smiled, “Oh, believe me Sean, that was child’s play compared to what I can do to people.”

            “Is that so?”

            “Of course. If I so wanted to, I could have you bent over your desk, be balls deep in your ass, as I’m transforming you into a cute little shark girl. Or maybe a tanuki. Depends on what I’m in the mood for~”

            Sean chuckled, pulling at the collar of his shirt, biting his lip. “As uh…tempting, as that sounds, we do have a couple things to do so uh. A-Anyways. Tell me Cecille, where did the idea for Dick Depot come from?”

            “The name or the company?”

            “Both.”

            “Well, as you may or may not know, I have a long history of transformation. Back in the dark ages, I would transform men and women into different monster girls, make them my maids, and live life like that.”

            “Sounds fun.”

            “It was. I very much enjoyed it. But as time went on, humanity multiplied, and the whole, ‘ethics’ dilemma started I knew I had to change the way I did things. So, I thought to myself, why not make my fetish a business? So, I started Dick Depot, allowing for anyone to transform themselves, even if its just their dick, so they can have any fun they want. And the name came to me as I was walking by a home depot so…yeah.”

            “Often times it’s the simple things that make a big difference. But that’s nice to hear, you really did help a lot of people with your company. And I must say, its quite impressive that you managed to grow so large in just ten years. You didn’t make any deals with devils, now did you?”

            Cecile raised her eyebrow, smirking as she leaned towards Sean. “Sean, I AM a devil. If anything, I did fuck a couple millionaires, but nothing illegal…mostly.”

            “What do you mean by ‘mostly’?”

            “Well look at that, don’t you think its time we moved to the special skit part of the show?”          

            “Special skit?”

            Cecille’s smirk widened as she snapped her finger. The lights went out, a small commotion went off and the lights came back on, only to see Cecille bending Sean over the desk with her dick balls deep up his ass, as he was slowly changing into a Racoon.

            “Sorry, I was really in the mood for a racoon girl. But thank you so much for your interest in Dick Depot, and your undying support. As for Sean, well, he, or probably she by this point, is a bit preoccupied, so for the rest of the show, we’ll give you a proper show. What do you think Sean?”

            Sean moaned loudly as she came against her desk, pushing her ass back against Cecille’s cock. “Well…there’s your answer then~”


End file.
